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Shower Your Love!
I have a strange fetish which is a little embarrassing to admit, in fact it feels so naughty writing this to you! A while back I discovered that I enjoy my husband urinating on me during love making sessions. Something about it just feels so sensual and steamy. Now my fantasies have started to become more outrageous and I’m considering finding a group of men to urinate on me. I don’t want to have sex with them though, just my husband. What should I like out for?
You didn’t mention whether or not your husband is a willing participant in this. Have you mentioned it to him? If not, it may be an idea to do so, as acting out a fantasy with your husband is a whole different ballgame to acting it out with a group of strangers. I feel you really need his support on this one, so make sure he backs you up before you give it the go ahead.
A few things for you to consider: Whilst urine is considered relatively sterile, it is possible to pass on STI’s through urine if it were to enter an orifice or an open wound, so there could be a possible risk of transmitting Chlamydia, Gonorrhea or CMV (Cytomegalovirus).
Assuming you and your husband decide to make a splash and go ahead with this, I would strongly advise that you check that your play partners have had a recent STI test and tested negative. Ask to see their certificates – if they are that keen to participate then they will be willing to do this!
Secondly, your personal safety is another factor you should consider. You say that you are not looking for sex with these men, but it’s possible that a group of men could overpower you and your husband and cause you harm. There is a club night called PisSoir that caters to the watersports enthusiast and they have licensed door staff protecting the venue and it’s revellers. Choosing a safe venue like this will ensure your experience will be a pleasurable one, and one to remember for all the right reasons.
Whip Crack Away!
My girlfriend and I are pretty adventurous in the bedroom and I am the dominant partner in the relationship. She’s agreed to let me tie her up and I’m hoping she’ll eventually agree to me whipping her! Can you offer any advice on how to do this the right way please?
Sadie 29, London
You are quite right to ensure that you get your partner’s approval before commencing this level of dominant play. It’s the kind of activity that may not be a pleasant surprise if she is not expecting it.
If she gives you the go ahead, I suggest that you go shopping together and browse potential implements to use online. For light play, one of my favourite instruments to use is a leather flogger. It has many soft leather fronds and a strong handle to grip the implement. It can be used for both pleasure and pain and if brought down swiftly onto the bottom it can leave a nice stinging sensation on your play partners rump. If you want to go even lighter than this you can buy small rubber floggers in Ann Summers, which have less of an impact. However, if you are looking for something slightly more intense, a riding crop applied to the buttocks and nipples can be enjoyable in sadomasochistic play, or even a bull whip, although you will need a lot of space for this and it will most definitely leave your loved ones bottom marked.
Whilst you are still a novice and practising your aim, I would stick to striking the buttocks which are the fleshiest areas on the body so that you do not cause your girlfriend an injury. I suggest you build her up slowly and avoid hitting above the bum cheeks where the kidneys lie as this can cause serious injury.
Use a safe word and keep playtime light and fun until you are both more experienced. Happy experimenting!
1 Couple, Six Cups!
Dear Mistress Kaz,
My girlfriend and I have been visiting fetish clubs for about 6 months and have heard that cupping can add a whole new dimension to the bedroom. Can you tell us if it is safe.
Cupping is a Taoist medical practise that dates back as far as 281 AD and has been practised for thousands of years. If you are completely new to this, I would avoid starting with fire cupping and would suggest that you opt for a device that is suitable for home play such as the Fetish Fantasy Series. You should not use the cups on scar tissue or broken or infected skin. Also these should not be used on pregnant women or anyone suffering from high blood pressure or skin or heart conditions. Now we’ve got the health and safety covered – let’s move on to the fun element!
Cupping works by creating a vacuum and sucking the skin into the cup, which increases the blood flow and makes the skin more sensitive to touch. Many medical practitioners also offer cupping as therapy and claim that additional benefits include; treating a stiff back, aching muscles and other health conditions such as fatigue or rheumatism.
Larger cups will spread the sensation out across a wider area, whereas a small cup will produce a more intense sensation. Areas that you can safely play with include; the nipples, thighs back, penis, buttocks and of course the clitoris! Do bare in mind that the device will leave bruising that is similar to a love bite, so don’t indulge before hitting the local swimming pool! Experiment, enjoy and keep it safe!
All Good Things Come In Small Packages!
Dear Miss B,
I was born with achondroplasia with means I only grew to 3’9 and have disproportionate limbs. Most people understand this better as Dwarfism. My condition has never held me back, I have a successful career and I have always lived life to the full. I have had plenty of boyfriends and have a big sexual appetite too! I have dabbled in fetish and really enjoy reading your weekly column. One thing I have fantasised about for a long time is having sex with a man who is huge compared to me – over 6’5 would be ideal in my perfect fantasy. Would this be safe to do?
I love your positive outlook on life. If everyone was as positive as you the world would be a wonderful place. I see no reason why you shouldn’t act out your fantasy and make your dreams come true with a handsome hulk! Many men find that petite girls are highly desirable, so I am certain that you will not have a problem finding a willing partner.
I would offer some practical advice however, to make sure the experience is as safe and enjoyable as possible.
It goes without saying that picking up a stranger in a nightclub can be risky. A much safer bet would be visiting a fetish club. If you decide to go the online dating route then please make sure that you tell a friend where you are going and check in when you arrive and again when you leave. Make your date aware that your friend knows where you are and what time to expect you back.
This may sound obvious but sometimes common sense can go out the window when life turns into an exciting whirlwind!
Another thing to consider is positions. If a play partner twice your size lies flat on you in the missionary position it is possibly that he could injure you. If he is very blessed in the nether region you may find that the doggy-style position is too deep and causes you pelvic pain or injury. The safest bet position wise is women on top or spoons. That way you will remain more in control and ensure that his size does not cause you discomfort. One last thing – make sure you have a bottle of lube handy to ease things along!
Play safely and good luck finding the perfect play partner!