A festive trouble shared


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Dear Kaz,


My wife says I’m not spontaneous in the bedroom and I would love to surprise her this Christmas with a kinky role play. I’ve bought a Santa costume for me, a sexy elf costume for and a massive load of toys. Other than that, I have no clue how to start. If I don’t come up with something fun I fear this Christmas will be all about blue balls and unemptied sacks! Can you help please?


Jayo, 32, London

Prob 10

Dear Jayo,

If you are Santa then you need to take charge of this situation and that means that naughty little elves must be do good things to get nice presents.

If you are both new to role play, then I suggest you keep it simple as overly complex role plays can get in the way of your fun. For example, perhaps she has forgotten to make Santa his nightly glass of brand and now she must make it up to you in some way. One idea would be sipping brandy (or similar) from her breasts to show that she wishes to please Santa…or if appropriate you might even want to bend her over your knee and spank her bare bottom!

Next you could incorporate the Christmas gifts into the role play. I suggest you wrap each present individually and hide them in different places in the house. Make sure they are gift wrapped beautifully – you can get this done in most high-street department stores. Then you can reward your naughty elf with a kinky gift each time she does something nice such as; taking off her bra, bending over or giving you a nice kiss. The idea is to make sure the role play gets steamier as you go on and each present she opens should be naughtier than the last. You can incorporate your sack full of naughty toys into the role play as you can go on so be sure to save the best for last!

If Santa is feeling kinky, you may wish to use a vibrator on your wife. Pay lots of attention to her clitoris and use a firm but gentle touch and lots of lube. By this point it’s likely that you may forget the role play entirely and just go for it, but that’s ok as long as you are having fun. Just relax, don’t take it too seriously and enjoy!

Dear Kaz,


Last week we had our works Christmas party and I’m worried I’ve made a complete fool of myself.  I must admit the champagne reception and free flowing drinks got the better of me and I ended up a lot more inebriated than I had intended. 


One of my colleagues I’m friendly with has filled in the blanks for me and apparently, I took off my shoes and was trying to get the boss to dance with me. She also said I told one of my colleagues that they had a stick up their arse and should have some fun then fell over and flashed my bum!  Even worse, I remember snogging one of the guys who works in the post room who is twice my age and not my type at all! I’m mortified and dreading going to work every day now in case someone says something.  I’m convinced they are all laughing and sniggering behind my back. Should I quit my job.?

Bev, 27, Sutton Coldfield

Prob 11

Dear Bev,

You aren’t the first person to get squiffy at a work Christmas party and you certainly won’t be the last. Christmas is a time when many celebrate with a few drinks and sometimes this can lead to a little over indulgence and blushing cheeks the next day.

Whilst for you the situation is embarrassing and you feel as if you have lost control, it’s unlikely that anyone else has given it a second thought and if they do it’s unlikely that they will be as critical of you as you are of yourself.  In a couple of weeks, I suspect they would have forgotten all about your misdemeanours and will be too caught up in their own lives to worry about it.

So, what if you asked your boss to dance? Perhaps he was secretly flattered. The colleague you insulted – leave a nice card and a bunch of flowers on their desk. It’s easy to say something silly after a few drinks and it would be pretty petty for her to hold a grudge over this if you apologise nicely and show her that you regret what you said.

As for the snog –  so what! Isn’t Christmas a time for letting down your hair! It’s just a harmless kiss between two consensual adults.

Please do not quit your job over this, use it as a learning curve and try to keep track of how much you are drinking in future. You can even get an app on your smartphone to see how many units each drink contains.  It’s especially important for females to monitor their alcoholic intake as they tend not to be able to hold their drink as well.  Always line your stomach with food before eating, try taking a charcoal supplement to absorb some of the toxins and try to drink a glass of water between every alcoholic drink.

Keep your head down for a couple of weeks, concentrate on your work and I am sure it will all blow over just in time for a new year and a fresh start.

Send you problems to Agony@dailysport.co.uk

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