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I’ve been in a relationship with a woman for 10 months and we enjoy a very active and kinky sex life. We both switch, but I prefer to be sub to her. Often, we experiment with bondage, spanking and rough sex and I love the feeling of her over powering me.
Recently, we had a very wild session and whilst I was at my parents for Sunday dinner the next day, my old folks noticed some bruising on my arms. I was mortified and didn’t know what to say! I blushed up red like a tomato and said I walked into a door, which was the worst thing I could have said! They both now think that my girlfriend is violent towards me and that I am a victim of domestic abuse. They keep giving me knowing looks and saying “She’ll tell us when she is ready.” Last night, Mother even left a flyer for battered women in my handbag! It’s getting ridiculous and I am losing my patience with them.
My partner is the most loving, gentle being on the planet! How do I convince them that nothing untoward is going on, without telling them the whole truth?
Ruth, 31, Norwich
It seems as if your parents have added two plus two and come up with 27! You really can’t blame them for being concerned though, even when you are 50 years of age you will still be their baby! That’s just how parents are towards their children. They are primed to nurture and protect you.
It does sound as if you are in a bit of a conundrum, but I think that you are going to have to come clean on this one before the situation escalates. It’s wonderful that your parents are so wonderful and supportive, but on the other hand you don’t want the police turning up on your poor girlfriend’s doorstep! You need to nip this in the bud, now.
It’s always embarrassing discussing sexual matters with family but perhaps you can find of way of hinting at the truth, without going into all the gory details!
You may feel that you are unable to do this face to face, and less face it – who wouldn’t be? Consider writing them a brief letter, explaining the situation as sensitively as possible. Make sure you set the record straight, use humour to diffuse the situation and make sure they know that you have not written the letter under duress!
In future, it may be an idea to opt for high neck tops or long sleeves after a particularly vigorous session.
Best of luck!
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