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Dear Kaz,
I’m a career driven guy who works in the city and work long hours. I enjoy my job but life at home is difficult. My girlfriend has a very high sex drive and wants to have sex all the time but I’m too tired. She also wants to have kinky high energy sex with choking and loads of different positions, but too be honest by the time I get back home I’m exhausted.
My girlfriend gets very upset when I reject her advances and says I’m not a real man and that other man would jump at the chance to have wild sex with her. It makes me feel humiliated and replaceable. Am I just being lazy? What should I do Kaz?
Yannon, 32, London
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Dear Yannon,
You have my sympathies. It is quite common for couples to have varying sex drives and sometimes this can lead to disagreements.
It seems to me that your girlfriend is being very unreasonable and insensitive. Her comments are emasculating and it’s no wonder your sex drive is suffering if she belittles you in this way.
If the boot were on the other foot and you were demanding sex and criticising her, you would be labelled a self-entitled misogynist. It’s not ok for men to demand and expect sex and guess what – it’s not ok for women to do it either! She is focussing only on her own needs and disregarding your feelings.
Yannon, you need to explain to her how her demands and cruel words make you feel and ask her to understand things from your side.
Your partner sounds like adventurous kind, so perhaps she would appreciate it if you treated her to a few toys that she can use to pleasure herself on nights when you are feeling shattered! The rampant rabbit is a good bet and is known best for the powerful orgasms it can induce. After 20 minutes with the rabbit she’ll be one happy bunny. If she’s still complaining tell her to buzz off!
On another note, is this all about sex or is it possible that she feels a bit emotionally neglected too? Only you can answer that, but never underestimate the power of the cuddle and how loved and secure it can make someone feel.
If after all this you find you are unable to compromise, then it’s possible that you are not compatible. However, if you love each other, then it’s worth exploring all the various options and seeing if you make it work out.
Head over to www.uk-fetish.co.uk to read more of Mistress Kaz’s articles about fetish and follow me on Twitter @KazBxx and don’t forget to e-mail me your problems to [email protected]
