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Hi, my name is Louise,

I am 54 years of age and I have one son who is 30 years old. I was divorced three months ago and my husband left me in a large amount of debt. As a result, I lost my house and have gone to live with my son in his flat.

A few weeks ago, we were watching television and it all got on top of me and I burst out crying. My son hugged me and said that I was safe and secure with him and to my shame, I ended up having intercourse with my own son. We slept together all night, and the next morning we were horrified at what we had done and we agreed never to do it again,

The problem is it has happened again (quite a few times if I am honest) and the sex is the best I have ever had. I love my son as a mother and as a sexual partner.

No one is ever going to know what we do. I know it is wrong, but is it so bad that we are supporting each other and doing no harm to anyone? Thank you for listening.

Louise, 54 Norwich

Dear Louise,

I feel that the situation you are in has been triggered by a series of deeply traumatic events that have caused you both to seek solace in one another.

You have turned to the only person you feel you can trust for comfort and whilst it may feel safe and familiar, it is extremely unhealthy for the both of you.

You reason to yourself that no one will ever know. However, all our decisions have consequences and it’s likely that this may destroy any chance of a normal relationship with your son, unless you take action now.

The law doesn’t take incest lightly and the penalty can be up to three years in prison. If people in your community discover your secret, you could be forced to move away from everyone you know and hold dear.  Also, the psychological impact on your son could cause a lot of damage.

As the maternal figure and parent, it is your responsibility to do the right thing by your son and end the sexual aspect of the relationship.

I think some counselling may also help you find better methods of dealing with the trauma you have been through, rather than seeking comfort in the wrong places.

There are many good counsellors on Google that may be able to help you and offer you guidance, without judgement. I have done some research and found a link for you, which I suggest you follow up.

ISAS: Incest and sexual abuse Survivors:

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