Sponsored by Fonesino.co.uk
It’s safe to say that I’m a competitive little bunny, especially when it comes to my boyfriend as we’re forever challenging one another to fitness events, brain teasers and ridiculous quests to earn status, respect and power over one another. All couples do that, right? Whilst out shopping for my brothers birthday present this week I just so happened to find the ultimate challenge for us both – an inflatable dick duel! Could this be anymore amazing!?
Racing home to beat my boyfriends dick off – literally – we set about reading the instructions and getting prepared for our duel. I used to love watching the TV show Gladiators back in the day where muscly athletes swung from ropes, jumped over obstacles and battled on podiums and as I blew up my inflatable dick like a birthday balloon I couldn’t help but laugh at how epic this battle was going to be.
The dick duel works by strapping inflatable dicks to a waist belt which is attached by velcro, using nothing but hip thrusts and jousts the aim of the game is to knock your opponents dick off three times whilst leaving yours intact. However I think I may have been a little too enthusiastic on the blowing part as my inflatable dick was rock hard whilst my boyfriends had a little squish to it – something that could well be my undoing as the slightest whack and my dick flew off.
We shuffled into the garden strapped up and fully loaded, my new man-piece perched triumphantly between my hips and I have to confess I really enjoyed having a dick, if only for a short while. I found myself absentmindedly holding and stroking it, perching upright on its balls I walked with a swagger as it swung from side to side like a mighty meat cobra.
Out in the sunny garden our eagerly anticipated duel began and I ferociously charged at my boyfriend with all my might, to my horror blowing my dick clean off! Dammit! Strike one and I approached our second joust with the tactic of tilting my hips to raise my dick up towards my belly button before slamming it down upon his in the hope of chopping it off – but mine blew off instead as his stayed perched triumphantly on his balls!
Two-nil down and in the third and final round desperation set in, I ran at him from the side like a sumo wrestler who forgot to tuck into their pants properly and struck his shaft side-on instantly blowing my cock and balls off for the third and final time. His smug face at the end of it was a picture and he attributed his success to already owning a dick and knowing how to use it, rather than acknowledging my effort for the rookie that I am. I believe it had nothing to do with his existing manhood and dick-experience as all he did was stand there and take my advances; I think my excitement of owning a huge dick of my own for the very first time led me to experience premature defeat which I’m sure is perfectly natural and nothing to be embarrassed about as it undoubtedly happens to everyone every once in a while…