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This week I’ve been exploring BDSM (bondage dominance submission masochism) with my boyfriend and it’s been an eye-opening experience for us both. I have a ridiculously high sex drive and really enjoy our sex life as it is but often read about couples who are looking to put a spark back into the bedroom by introducing toys, whips and handcuffs. We weren’t so much looking for a spark when trying BDSM for the first time – more to fan the roaring flames that are already there.
After ordering some straps, a spreader bar and sex swing online I could hardly contain my excitement when a small brown box arrived at my doorstep. It had to be the longest wait of my life for my boyfriend to come home to try it out and messaging what we wanted to do to each other with our new toys throughout the day made the concept all the more arousing.
To an extent neither of us identify as a dominant or submissive in the bedroom as we both enjoy being in control, taking turns and switching things up but seeing as I was tied, shackled and bound it was a massive turn on to find myself entirely helpless. My boyfriend describes it as being able to use me like a rag doll and feeling free to do whatever he likes which absolutely electrified the whole scenario for both of us because it set us at entirely opposite ends of the scale.
I think the kink-factor of doing something different, socially taboo and sexually controlling is a massive turn on within a relationship and something every couple should explore at least once. To know that I couldn’t take charge, give back or get away made our sex all the more carnal and passionate, something relationships often lose quickly after the honeymoon period has worn off.
Intimacy within a relationship is an incredible bond that brings two people closer together and opens up communication; it’s something that should be cherished, encouraged and made time for within our busy lives and I can happily say that BDSM has been ticked off of my bucket list and my new toys sit enticingly in my wardrobe ready for tonight!