Your weekend starts here………..

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So my boyfriend has recently addressed the tender subject of suggesting he thinks I may be a sex addict and crave his man juice far more often than the average Mrs. From my perspective I find the notion of addiction being immoral, selfish and all-consuming for which I don’t think I’m an addict per-say, however I make my secret of the fact that I enjoy pleasure and orgasms on a daily basis. I think all women should be open and honest about sex, embrace their bodies and never feel ashamed to admit that sexual intimacy is acceptable. It boosts my mood, peaks my activity levels and burns a shed load of calories that I can spend on wine, snacks and treats – what’s not to love?

 

My boyfriend however feels otherwise…

“I believe in a day being like a battery of a phone. You wake up in the morning hoping that you sleep great and are on 100% battery after leaving your phone on charge over night. Obviously the worse you sleep the lower your battery life is. 

 

My normal day I would say to Tracy involves at least 2 sex sessions which I normally find sexually exhausting or what I like to call it ‘sexhaustion’. I think Tracy believes that having sex 10 times a day should be capable from the majority of men, which I struggle to believe is physically and mentally possible! I like to break down the average day into the below which shows the normal daily routine spent with Tracy broken down into my battery life when on a 100% battery after a good nights sleep:

 

Wake up – 100%

Breakfast/school run/child chasing – -20%

Pre-workout before gym – +5%

1.5 hour gym session – -20%

Lunch sex – -15%

Lunch – +5%

Work/School run – -20%

Kids evening entertainment – -20%

Dinner – +5%

Evening sex – -15%

Love island – -5%

 

=0% (8 hours sleep needed to recuperate!)

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Should the cycle be interrupted due to increased sex, I may not be able to complete all my daily activities (like reduced work, falling asleep during Love Island or not being able to walk for the school run but drive instead). I think Tracy feels hard done by when sex drops below an average of twice a day which I try and hint is not normal for the majority of couples! 

 

If she is willing to do my work for me or for me to become incredibly out of shape by missing the gym, I may be willing to increase our sexually output from 2-3 times per day… we will see what her response will be to this…”

To be honest, knowing that he’s happy to skip the gym in exchange for sexercise means that I can burn EVEN MORE calories through sex and have more orgasms so I’m sure the switch of walking on a treadmill and lifting a few dumbbells can be made to being doused in baby oil and thrown around the bedroom. Ever the optimist I am all for this change and relish in the fact of keeping him locked indoors and exhausted for my own personal pleasure. Thank you all for being witness. 

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