This week we are having a ORGASM special. Talking about why some women won’t or can’t have orgasms.
And also why some women fake orgasms.
If you want to know why your partners not having orgasms or you think she’s faking the. Here is why.
Why women can’t orgasm?
Having an orgasm shouldn’t be like solving a difficult math problem but for a lot of women, it really can seem seem that way.
1. You’re on a medication that is making orgasms nearly impossible, medications like SSRIs (used to treat depression, anxiety, and other conditions) can diminish sex hormones in the body, and often lead to having crappy orgasms or no orgasms at all. So if the sex is actually good and it’s just not happening for you, that could be why. Talk to your doctor and see if there’s another medication with fewer sexual side effects that you could be taking.
2. You’re only having penis-in-vagina sex, a lot of the time, guys think they’re incredibly good at sex but they actually have no idea what they’re doing, only about half of women can orgasm from penetration alone, so it’s no wonder you’re having problems with the jackhammer method. Try adding in clitoral stimulation via your own hand or a vibrator in your clit during sex.
3. You’re not getting enough foreplay. A lot of women fake orgasms because a lot of men fake foreplay. If your guy isn’t giving you enough (or any) foreplay, you’re never actually getting turned on and it’s pretty hard to have an orgasm when you’re not even turned on. So tell him to slow the hell down already and give you the time to get there.
4. You’re too stressed out to really enjoy sex. Many women spend a lot of time during sex worried about unintended pregnancy and STDs, as well as whether this guy is good for them or whether he’s faithful, that makes it really hard for women to let go and be in the moment sexually. All of those worries are giving me a headache just thinking about them, so it’s not a shocker that you can’t be that stressed out and then release with a bunch of orgasms.
5. You have no idea what works for you. The vagina has a lot of parts to it and it’s not like we learn a ton about how it all works when we’re growing up, many women don’t even know what feels good to them. She suggests trying to masturbate while stimulating your clitoris and inside your vagina at the same time or separately to figure out what you like, and then share that with your partner.
6. You’re putting way too much pressure on yourself to have an orgasm quickly. If you’re lying there nervous or tired or feeling uncomfortable about how much time has passed with you still not having had an orgasm, you’re creating a vicious cycle of no orgasms having that pressure to have or give an orgasm just results in everyone being stressed out and not coming. Not ideal. Try not to think about orgasming and just enjoy the sensations instead. You’ll come when you least expect it.
7. You might just need some lube. About 40% of women don’t produce enough natural lubrication to enjoy sex, even if your body normally gets wet, sometimes the chemistry of condoms, hormones, and emotions can throw that off and leave you dry. Just adding lubricant (ALERT: it’s not just for old ladies, it’s for every lady) is an easy way to make you feel more comfortable and orgasm-ready.
8. There’s an actual anatomical or physical problem you need to get checked out. True medical problems that affect your ability to orgasm are rare, but it is possible to have things like clitoral entrapment, which is when the clitoris literally gets trapped under the clitoral hood skin, making it less sensitive. If you’re having significant trouble orgasming, check with your gynecologist to make sure nothing like that is going on. But mostly, it’s about finding out what you like via masturbation or toys, and then finding a partner who wants to take you there.
The type of orgasms women fake.
In an ideal world, no woman would fake an orgasm, because our partners would be attentive, orgasmic geniuses who get us off every single time. But let’s face it sometimes, for whatever reason, some of us feel like enough all ready and give in to a little performance art. For all those occasions, we’ve culled the top 10 types of orgasms that are…not so much.
For some reasons, people keeping trying to get off in the water, and it just never works. Showgirls is not real life! Also, water is a sucky lubricant.
When you wish you were watching tele instead of pretending to have an orgasm.
When you’re staying at his parents’ house for Christmas and you’re just too worried about noise to actually get off, so you whisper in his ear, “Oh God, yes, it’s totally happening.”
When you finally pull the plug on boring sex. Clearly they can’t tell the difference between yawns and moans!
When you turn the playlist up loud so you don’t have to fake too much noise during your fake orgasm.
When you’re jet-lagged but your partner still wants to try to get you off, so you scream things like “your Eiffel Tower is rock hard!” while you think about what you’ll order from room service.
When you know you’re not going to come and you really want to just chill on your apps for the rest of the night.
When you can’t properly focus on getting off because your Chinese-food delivery is arriving any second.