Decadence Does Decadence



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Greetings and salutations my kinksters, hope you have had a great week since we last spoke. Firstly I must start by getting on my soapbox for a little rant…

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Why is it that in this day and age, when we are supposedly more open to sexuality and diversity, there are still people in positions of power wanting to curb the nation’s desires and put a stop to not just sexual enjoyment but education as well? You may well have heard about how The London Exhibition Centre has refused to allow the Sexpo to be held, even though no firm dates were ever discussed. This arbitrary refusal shows more than anything that the Sexpo is needed. The ExCel Centre may see the Sexpo as objectification but really it is the complete opposite, everyone deserves to live the life they choose as long as it is not hurting anyone else and the Sexpo is key in breaking down barriers previously associated with kink, fetish and female empowerment.

When we still, in 2018, have private charity balls where only men can attend and the female staff are not just expected to wait on them but put up with being sexually exploited and harassed by the guests, it shows just how needed the voice is to the sexual community and workers.

The Sexpo, which began life in Australia back in 1996 has been a lifeline to many individuals over the last 2 decades and the ExCel Centre in London’s Docklands really does need to drag themselves into this century. It is no longer the days of hiding your sexuality or your preference, we have all been the proverbial closet for too long, whether that is due to sexual preference or kink, let 2018 be the year that we finally break through all the barriers and no longer fear harassment.

Anyway, rant over, back to our clubbing experiences. So we heard that there was a club called Decadence in Rochdale and just had to go and check it out. The reviews are good on Fabswingers but I have to admit as we have almost the same name we were kind of hoping they wouldn’t live up to the reviews.

“Always love this place. Great hosts and a very modern, clean place. And being able to buy a drink instead of carrying drinks in a bag is great. If you want a modern sophisticated club with great facilities like sauna and jacuzzi then you won’t be disappointed. I have attended many times and I am definitely looking forward to ria coming back on Saturday. Met some great people here. Has plenty of fun. Just the best place locally to chill out and have a bit of fun. I shall return.

Date: 24 January 2018”

They describe themselves as “North East England’s newest and most luxurious club for sexually enlightened people” and boasts four playrooms, a smoking area and fully licensed bar. Run by an experienced member of the swinging community, the Rochdale club was indeed welcoming and friendly with hosts available should you need anything. The decor is interesting and eclectic with lots of LED lights, a pole and famous faces such as the Gallagher brothers and David Bowie adorning the walls of the bar. Opulent seating areas allow visitors to chill and get to know each other and the fully equipped dungeon will excite anyone with even a slight interest in BDSM games. The selection of different coloured playrooms are comfortable and very roomy…lots of space to play! All in all we enjoyed our little jaunt to Rochdale, we love the name but there’s only one Dr Decadence!

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The Doctor will see you now…

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Dear Doctor

My wife has mentioned wanting to swing but I have never been interested and have told her that. Last week I got home from work and there was a couple I had never met drinking wine in the kitchen with my wife, it turned out that she had invited round a swinging couple. I did try but it really wasn’t my thing, my wife loved every second and enjoyed both the husband and wife. I ended up basically having to kick them out and now my wife says that I embarrassed her but that she wants to meet them again. I really hate the idea but love my wife, what should I do?

Thanks P

Hi P

Oh dear, that doesn’t sound like a very good situation for you. It is very important that you both agree on these things and that you are communicating with each other how you feel. You should speak to your wife and find out what she feels is lacking in your current sex life and why she wants to introduce swinging. You both need to respect the others needs and feelings. Is there any way you could find a compromise? If you can’t agree or find a compromise then there doesn’t look to be much future without at least one of you being unhappy. Good luck and I hope you can work it out.

Dear Dr

My boyfriend has asked if he can blindfold and tie me up while we’re having sex. He says that he and his ex used to play all sorts of kinky games when they were together which made me feel like I should.  He swears he knows what he’s doing and I won’t be at any risk at any time, but I’m panicking, what if there’s an emergency or he tricks me?


Hi S

Firstly I’m concerned that you are panicking that he might trick you, why do you think this? It is entirely your call if you want to participate in kinky games with him but don’t let the fact he did it with his ex sway you. Ultimately you need to trust him for you to be able to relax and enjoy the experience. What you have mentioned are very mild aspects of bondage which has become very popular of late due to certain books and films. Talk to him about it first and discuss what you would and wouldn’t be comfortable with. If you decide to give it a go then try something like a silk scarf that is easy to release if necessary. If you still feel uneasy with what he’s suggesting, then find the strength to say “no thanks”. You are under no obligation to do anything at all and it’s vital that you stay true to yourself and know your limits. If you are not feeling it then whatever he says it is game over and he should respect that. I hope you can find a way to either feel comfortable or come to a compromise.

Until next time, keep those questions coming and stay decadent. Email

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