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The other day a friend of mine asked me what I look for in a party, what sets one club apart from another. This got me thinking about all the different clubs and parties I have attended over the years and how different they have been. To be honest, what I look for in a night out is the atmosphere, it’s the guests that really make a party or club come alive but of course, there are things that a venue can do towards ensuring people have a good night. I don’t particularly look for clubs that take themselves too seriously, I prefer it to have the feel of a party, so a good DJ is a must. Most clubs in both the fetish and swinging worlds tend not to have a bar so one that does adds to the feeling of being on a night out, cocktails certainly do add something to a night of debauchery! Having a good host/hostess is imperative, preferably one that isn’t personally playing as they will then be on hand to assist people as necessary. And, of course, how well decorated and equipped the venue is, whether it is clean and well maintained, whether the decor fits the ambience and whether it is comfortable and fit for purpose all affect one’s enjoyment. I have in the past been to some awful clubs but luckily I have also had the pleasure of attending many more great ones.
Last week we were in Bristol so popped into The Office, no I haven’t got a new day job, The Office is a fabulous private swingers venue and the new look is fabulous and slick. The high glass bed is spectacular and you can’t beat a good cinema in a club. Their dungeon is well equipped and the playrooms are clean, comfortable and well decorated. On the night we attended, the atmosphere was electric and everyone was clearly in high spirits. We had an amazing time and met some lovely sexy party people! We can’t wait to go back next time we are down in Bristol and will hopefully catch up with a certain couple again.
Surgery is open, what can the Dr help you with this week?
Dear Doctor Decadence
I have been married for a few years and my husband has told me he is interested in swinging. I am happy to explore this with him but I’ve always thought of it as being a bit of a secret society. Is it had to get into and be a part of? Where should we start?
Hello there Curious,
Swinging is in no way a secret society of masked individuals hoaxing vanillas into their deep dark coven with secret handshakes. I blame a certain Tom Cruise movie for that misconception. There are groups that operate like that and it is part of their charm but I shouldn’t imagine you would come across anything like that. Swingers are just people who indulge in their sexuality. The best place to start is online. There are loads of swinging sites that you can join as a couple and talk to others involved in the lifestyle. You could also try setting up a joint twitter account. You will find that swinging is not so secret as you think once you start looking. Going to dedicated ‘alternative lifestyle’ is also a great way to get a feel for it (pun intended), even if you choose just to observe at first. Make sure that you and your husband have a clear understanding of what the other is comfortable with and remember to always communicate with each other.
Enjoy and let us know how it got on!
My girlfriend wants me to start talking dirty in bed but I am quite shy about it and don’t know where to start. Do you have any tips?
not everyone is into being vocal in the bedroom but it can be a major turn. You don’t mention if she is vocal herself, if she is then take your cues from her, if she isn’t then ask her to start so that you can get a grasp on the type of thing she is after. It could be that she just wants to know that you are enjoying yourself so lots of moaning and things like “I love it when you…”, “that feels so good” will do the trick. If she wants something a bit dirtier you could talk about how good it feels to be inside her or what you want her to do to you. The best thing to do is talk to her and get a feel what the style of dirty talk she finds a turn on. It may seem strange at first but you will get the hang of it and in no time will find it as normal as saying “pass the salt”. Have fun!