Brit Dad Deported From Dubai – For Having a Tattooed Mug
A British dad says he’s been permanently banned from his favourite holiday hotspot – all because his face looks like a doodle pad from a Year 9 detention.
Jordan Howman, 34, was ready to swap the grey skies of Britain for sun, sand, and slightly overpriced cocktails when he landed in Dubai. But instead of being welcomed with dates and smiles, he claims he was detained, questioned for hours, and booted out the country – all because of the ink on his face.
“I’ve been to Dubai twice before, no bother,” Jordan told reporters while still looking understandably gutted. “But this time I got dragged off like I’d just tried to smuggle in a suitcase full of baked beans.”
Jordan, who has words like ‘blessed’, ‘family’, and ‘crazy life’ tattooed across his face (a sort of Google Translate version of a Drake album cover), says airport staff told him flat-out:
“You’re not coming in because of the way you look.”
Which is a bit rich coming from a country where the locals drive gold-plated Lamborghinis and think Burj Khalifa selfies are a personality trait.
After a six-hour airport saga, Jordan was refused entry, held in immigration limbo, and finally put back on a plane to Manchester – minus his passport, his dignity, and any chance of getting a sun tan.
His partner, meanwhile, was left weeping into a hotel mini-bar at the luxury Anantara resort, which cost them a cool £250 in taxis just to say goodbye to nobody.
“I’m a lovely lad,” Jordan said, still in disbelief. “I get on with everyone. But now I feel like rubbish. All because of some patterns on my face.”
Once a die-hard Dubai fan, Jordan says the emirate is now firmly off his bucket list. “It was my favourite country. But they’ve ruined it. All that money lost… because of a tattoo.”
To add insult to injury, Jordan didn’t even get his passport back until he landed back in Manchester – meaning he technically did a 7,000-mile round trip to get told he’s not hot enough for Dubai.
The Dubai authorities haven’t commented, but here’s a free travel tip:
If your face looks like Banksy’s scrapbook, maybe try Benidorm