Just when some of us were starting to believe that the LOCK NESS MONSTER was merely a MYTH a DAILY SPORT reader who has been TRACKING the beast for the last 10 years has gone one better and found what can only be described as the ‘COCK-NESS MONSTER’ or maybe Scotland’s BIGGEST cock?
SCOTLAND’S BIGGEST COCK
Chris who moved up to Inverness recently to TRACK NESSIE full time speaking EXCLUSIVELY to DAILY SPORT said “I couldn’t believe it when I hauled in what I’d hope was NESSIE, only to find the WORLD’S biggest MONSTER cock.
MOSTER COCK FOUND
The over 60 FOOT ‘MANHOOD’ is now being examined by SCIENTISTS at one of SCOTLAND’S top uni’s which has remained nameless due to FEARS of SELFIE HUNTERS besieging the GAFF.
This has to be the BIGGEST discovery since NESSIE went GLOBAL in 1933.
German NESSIE expert Adolf Kuntz had hoped to get over to see the discovery first hand but POST-BREXIT immigration rules have thwarted his visit BANNING him from the UK, Adolf was too distraught to speak to DAILY SPORT when we contacted him. Safe to say he must be GUTTED!
COCK-NESS GOES GLOBAL
DAILY SPORT have asked the local authorities and tourism bosses who are now expecting there busiest YEAR ON RECORD for comment but as yet haven’t had a response.