A problem shared with Kaz B


Lessons In Kink

Problem 1

Hello Mistress, I’m a student studying business studies and last week I decided to google my lecturer who I have a bit of a crush on. After some extensive research I discovered that she is a dominatrix. I’ve never been to a dominatrix but ever since finding out about her I have been wildly fantasising about going to see her. Should I take the plunge and make a booking with her.

Ben, 18, Cambridge

Dear Ben,

It’s natural to want to experiment sexually at your age and it must be wildly exciting to have discovered this whole new world of fetish and domination. If you feel that visiting a dominatrix will enrich your sexual experience, then by all means find a dominatrix in your area and approach her. Aside from enjoying different forms of fetish play, a domme can teach you how to develop your submissive side and this may be beneficial in future relationships when you want to please your partner in the bedroom.

BUT, and this is a big but! I would exercise caution when it comes to your lecturer. Honestly, I think she will be mortified if one of her students turned up on the door-step and this is likely to get her into a whole lot of trouble.  If this discovery was to become public knowledge, your lecturer could face losing her job and you wouldn’t want to shoulder that burden. Also this may cause you problems at college and affect your concentration in lessons. It’s imperative that if you are keen to go ahead with your exploration, that it is not with your lecturer. Keep your education and your private life very separate and you will be much happier for it.

Good luck Ben and enjoy a safe journey into the wonderful world of Fetish.

Shocking Behaviour!

Problem 2

Hello darling, I am a gay man and I am in a domme/sub relationship with my partner of three years. During sex sessions I wear a full latex gimp suit and hood which I enjoy, but it makes communicating with my partner a little challenging. We often mess around with electro-play and he electrocutes my balls. Recently though, he has started ramping up the current and I am in absolute agony and struggle to take it. No amount of tapping my tied wrist against the bed seems to get his attention. I want to talk to him about it, but I’m concerned that my place as as submissive means I have to take whatever he dishes out.

Gavin, 32, Manchester.

Dear Gavin, I am afraid I have to disagree with you here. It is not your job as a submissive to take everything your partner throws at you. A safe and respectful sub/domme relationships relies on mutual trust, safe words and communication. It sounds like the hood it limiting your communication somewhat during sessions and you are afraid to speak up afterwards.  Also I wouldn’t like to assume, but it seems that you partner is pushing your limits instead of watching your body language for signals. Of course, he may well believe that this is what you desire. The biggest problem I can see here is communication. Just because you are the submissive party, this doesn’t mean that you cannot be assertive. Next time, speak to your partner before you enter any kind of play and ensure that he understands that intense electro-play is not something you enjoy. For the next couple of sessions, avoid being tied up and even try experimenting without the hood until you can both get it right.

Communication is a two way thing and you have as much of an active part in this to take responsibility for safe play. Hopefully you should find that good communication enhances your sexual play. If you partner refuses to compromise, then sorry but he is not for you. Without trust and respect there is no relationship!

Be assertive. It’s a basic human right to protect yourself and avoid situations that cause you undue suffering.

Alfresco Fun Fuels My Desire!

Problem 3

Hello there Miss Kaz,

I’m a 31 year old women and since splitting with my husband last year my libido has increased and I have started to refind my sexual side. I started off by driving around commando when I go out which was quite exciting. The next step was to try dogging and I met up with a group at the local Tesco car park. Unfortunately they started locking the gates at night when they found out it was being used as a dogging site!! I really miss my naughty nights out! Can you recommend any dogging sites in Berkshire?


Dear Marney,

It’s common to want to play the field after a separation and some women find that this helps them to feel sexy again. I see no problem with this as long as you are not practising anything that could put you in a vulnerable situation. You are a grown women so I am sure you do not need me to remind you to practise safe sex. Also, as I am sure you are well aware, as single women, driving to remote locations alone can put you in dangerous situations so always take a friend with your and let people you can trust know where you are going.

As for dogging sites, I did a little research for you. There’s one in Ascot on Swinley Road in the car park. There is also one in Theale in the layby of the m4, J12 headed on route for Newbury and it’s behind behind the trucks in the woods according to google. If you put Berkshire dogging sites it will come up with a whole host of locations for you to peruse. Exercise caution, be safe and have fun.

Visit my site www.uk-fetish.co.uk to read more articles of kink, fetish & BDSM.


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