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Dear Kaz,
I’m in my early 20’s and have a massively high sex drive! I’m thinking of getting into porn but wondering if it might cause me problems where I work in a bank? Also, what happens if I change my mind and want to take the videos off the internet? Can you give me some advice please?
Claire, Blackpool
Dear Claire,
It’s a big step getting into porn and one you’ll want to think about long and hard – no pun intended! Unfortunately, a lot of employers do discriminate against those who have appeared in adult movies and usually use the excuse that it is bringing the company into disrepute. If someone at your work found your movies then it is possible that they could find a reason to terminate your contract. This happened to a friend of mine who worked at an insurance company. One of her colleagues ‘found’ her movies and she was sacked immediately.
Another issue with porn if you are shooting for producers is that once you sign that model release, they can do whatever they want with the images or video. There is no law to safeguard you and the videos may stay on the internet for years to come. People can screenshot it, send it to their friends, of if they have a grudge against you, could even send it to your employer. For the amount of money you can earn in adult these days, it is not really worth the risk shooting for other producers when you can be independent. On average, you’ll be paid between £200 -£400 for a scene. It can involve long hours, a lot of travel and there is not always work. Also, a lot of shoots are last minute which may prove difficult to be available for if you are in full time employment.
If porn is something you really want to try, I suggest you get a video camera, a mask, a pseudo name and a playmate and make your own adult movies, Amateur porn is a huge market and you can sell your clips online yourself. It’s very easy to shoot and upload them, you’ll make more money in the long run and will always maintain creative control. For now, until you know where you want to go with your career – as you are only young, I would advise that you keep your identity concealed. That way you can sample the adult market and see if it is for you, but with much less risk.
There are many sites that you can upload your content to and earn per clip. Over the course of a year this really does mount up and it’s a lot more fun shooting the content you want to shoot!
Also, keep your eyes peeled for adultgenie.com which is coming this autumn. They pay a very high percentage on cams and video sales and also have specialists that can edit your clips and help you through the process. Best of luck – follow me on Twitter if you are not already and let me know if you need any more advice!
Eureka!
Dear Kaz,
I have always wanted to try sleeping with another woman. I mentioned it to my boyfriend when we were drunk and he said he had always fancied a bit of bi play with another guy. We talked about it again the next day and found it very exciting to think of watching each other enjoying some same sex play. Is there anywhere we can go to experiment with this kind of thing? I think perhaps it might be a bit too wild for most swinger’s clubs which seem to be targeted at straight people.
Tanya, 39, Croydon
Hi Tanya,
Funny you should ask that! I have just spent the weekend reviewing a swingers and fetish club called Eureka Lifestyle which often holds a bi night for swingers.
The club is set in 20 acres of land in the Kent countryside, so it’s private, discreet and not a million miles from you. You can stay on site at the club in a cosy cabin or in a local B&B just down the road. You will find the staff very welcoming and helpful and the guests open minded and completely non-judgemental.
At the club, you can just go along and watch other couples in the playroom or you can even find another couple that you want to play with who are game for a bit of fun!
If you check my website link at the bottom of the page you can find my full review on the club. In my opinion, it’s the best lifestyle club in the UK with many features and amenities such as a bar, 60ft pool and two Jacuzzi baths. It’s definitely worth a visit. Have fun!
A Tiny Problem
Dear Mistress Kaz,
I have a fetish for small penis humiliation. My little willy is only 3 inches big and I have a fantasy which involves an attractive woman pointing at it and reducing me to a psychological wreck. I want to be told that I am a loser and have no chance with women, then be made to masturbate and humiliate myself in front of her whilst she tells me I’ll never get to have sex again, so I should only masturbate.
Is this normal and should I try webcam? What if the webcam girl recognises me and tells someone? Will I be unable to have sex after this?
Jonathon, Leicester
Dear Jonathon,
You may be surprised to hear that as a domme, I hear sexual fantasies like this a lot. I think webcam is a very good place to start and if you are worried about being recognised, there are a couple of things you can do to safeguard your anonymity.
Firstly, if you are in Leicester, perhaps choose a webcam girl who is miles away from you in another town. That way it’s highly unlikely that you will know or ever bump into each other in real life.
You could also wear a mask or hood or keep your webcam positioned below the chest.
I see no reason why you should not be able to have sex after this. Role play is merely fantasy and it’s unlikely that someone can psychological break you to the extent that you can no longer have sex – especially when you have asked for this fetish.
Of course, sometimes the fetish can become more exciting than regular sex and this can become an issue if you want to have normal relationships. I see no harm in dipping your toe in to test the waters and having some fun, as long as you keep in mind that it’s all fantasy play and isn’t a replacement for real intimacy.
Reading between the lines, do I detect a little concern about your penis size? Outside of the fetish – trust me, if you learn to be good with your tongue and can please a woman with your tongue skills, it will more than compensate for your lack of inches below!
To read my latest reviews and articles visit www.uk-fetish.co.uk
You can also follow me here: www.twitter.com/kazbxx
Email me [email protected] and I’ll try to help
