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The prevalence of online discussions into sex lives and kinks married with the increase in non-conformist relationships have brought down a lot of barriers where sex is concerned. You will now find topics such as anal sex, swinging and BDSM in literature and academic papers. However, even with this progress, the act of having a threesome is still considered quite taboo and not generally talked about between friends. I find this strange considering that threesomes are such an ‘old’ fantasy and subjects that push th3 boundaries much more, such as pet play, for example, are much more widely talked about. Dr Ryan Scoats from Birmingham University recently completed a PhD in threesomes to delve into the phenomenon and how the stigma is now starting to fall away. He revealed, as I would expect, that men are more likely to want a threesome but also that they are more likely to be disappointed with the experiencing, finding that it wasn’t the mind-blowing orgasmic tete a tete that they had been expecting. His data also revealed that with peoples more relaxed attitudes to sex and lowering levels of homophobia men are now less likely to mind having a second man join the party. Unsurprisingly, his findings were more than an open minded person already knows, that as with two-person sex, peoples have threesomes for many different reasons and with many different outcomes.
I’m not sure exactly why he had to do a PhD in it just to discover what we all already know though!
What have you all been up to this week? The weather has been a mixed bag but mostly glorious but that didn’t stop us stepping out for a naughty night out whilst we were taking a break down in Torquay. Swingers Quay at Steamer Quay in Torquay is found down a little side street in the centre of town and housed in a 200-year-old former brewery so expect lots of period charm and a historic feel to the building. Four floors of dedicated playrooms and communal areas include a 10 person steam room and 16 person spa for when you would like to relax. This was our first visit to Swingers Quay and we were made to feel completely welcome by staff and other guests alike.
Surgery is open, how can the Doctor help?
Dear Doctor,
I found out that my husband and Master has been joining Facebook groups saying he is a sissy sub and asking to be blackmailed. I don’t understand the change in him and his role. Does this mean he wants to be submissive now?
M
Hi there,
well I don’t know if this means that he is now purely submissive but I would assume not. If he is usually Dominant then it may be that he wants to switch sometimes or just explore the submissive side of his personality. My concern in this is that he is doing it behind your back, all BDSM relationships and dynamics are based on honesty, trust and communication. You don’t say whether you discovered this or whether he admitted it but either way, you need to sit down with him and find a way that this can work for you both.
Hi Dr
I went to a swingers club last week and bumped into my neighbours. I am in my early 20’s and still live at home with my parents. I have known this couple since I was a kid and used to play with their children. I was in a group scene and didn’t realise it was them until it was over, I am not sure how much they saw or joined in but didn’t have penetrative sex with the husband I’m sure. How can I look them in the eye now?
J
Hello there
Firstly, don’t worry! They are probably feeling exactly the same as you are, maybe more so as they have known you since you were young and have a connection to their children. There is no need to be embarrassed, you were all there for the same reason in the capacity as swingers. If you are worried about bumping into people you know at a club maybe consider going further afield. You have two choices really, you can pop over with a bottle of wine and make a joke of it or you can sweep it under the carpet and avoid eye contact. Whichever you choose, don’t let it affect how you feel about swinging.
Until next time, keep those questions coming and stay decadent.
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