Sissification in the Surgery

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The surgery waiting room has been rather quiet of late but then like buses, they all come at once. As always I am here to help with any sexual, lifestyle, swinging or BDSM related questions you may have. I know it can be nerve-wracking to ask these types of questions but there is never any fear of judgement here.

This is an interesting subject raised in this question, and not just when talking about sissification. Within BDSM and kinky sexual practices many people will partake in activities that they would have no interest in outside of a session. This could be pain, bisexuality, feminisation or many other things. Being turned on by a woman wearing a strap-on does not make someone a homosexual, nor does enjoying the feeling of anal play.

Dear Dr Decadence

A few weeks ago my boyfriend went away on a stag do. I knew that they were all going to dress up as women and found it quite funny helping him to find a wig and clothes. He did seem to enjoy it a lot and took it all rather seriously but he likes to do things properly so I thought nothing of it. Anyway, last week I came home early from work and found him masturbating in our bed wearing lingerie, makeup and heels. I was shocked but we talked and he said that when he tried it on the stag do he was really turned on and now it is all he thinks about. He has been looking at things online and wants me to help him become a sissy. I really don’t know anything about this and as much as I want him to be happy I am also a bit weirded out. Is this normal and should I help him? Does this mean he wants to be a girl?

Alice

Hello Alice and thank you for reaching out.

It is quite possible that this is something your boyfriend has fantasised about in the past and by being able to explore it in what would have felt a safe space (all lads together just having a joke) it allowed him to finally experience it.

There are many reasons that a male may want to dress in feminine clothing, it doesn’t necessarily mean that he wants to go through a sex change and become a woman. Some find that it relaxes them, that they enjoy the feeling of the materials or the feeling of not having to be masculine and many find it a turn on. Talk to your boyfriend about his interest in it.

You mention that he has been looking into the subculture of sissies, well, within the BDSM community there is a practice known as forced feminisation, this is, of course, consensual and not actually forced but by the submissive person feeling like they are being forced into it they can alleviate any guilt they may have for feeling sexually aroused by it. Cross-dressing can also be used as a form of erotic humiliation. This can then lead on to forced bi where the Dominant partner will instruct the submissive ‘sissy’ to perform sexual acts which would appear bisexual or homosexual, whether that is sucking or being pegged (anally penetrated) by their Dominant wearing a strap-on or by doing it with another man.

With any activity the most important thing is communication, you said you have talked about it but have you discussed exactly what it is he wants to get out of it? What he hopes your input will be? What he wants the outcome to be? You may find that what he wants is to dress in silky panties and have you peg him or it may be more extreme than that. Either way, it is a discussion that needs to be had and you need to decide what you feel comfortable with. Start slow and work up to it. Start by lingerie shopping together, for him! Try doing his make up. See how you feel with each activity.

Respect, love and honesty are important when taking relationships in a new direction but none of this is weird, it is just another way he expresses his self and his sexuality.

Hi Dr Decadence

I tried on my girlfriend’s underwear and it made me feel really horny. She saw me and just laughed but now it is all I can think about. Does this mean I want to be a girl?

Simon

Hello Simon

You say that it is all you can think about but don’t say in what capacity. Did it excite you sexually? Did it make you feel comforted? Did it feel normal? What are your feelings about why you enjoyed putting on your girlfriend’s panties? It is important that you know what it is you like about it and how you want to include that in your life moving forward. Once you have thought about this you should talk to your girlfriend and see if she can be comfortable with you bringing this into your life and relationship. Try wearing girls panties under your boxers and see how that feels. Suggest that you wear them when you are in bed together and see how you both react to that or even try wearing them when you masturbate. Enjoy exploring this new interest and see where it takes you.

Make sure to get your club and party reviews coming in, tell the world which are the best and worst swinging and BDSM venues that you have attended. Maybe you have found a hidden gem or have been disappointed by a well-known location, either way, tell the rest of the community.

Right then party people, until next time – stay decadent!

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