Testing times

Welcome to the next instalment of Mockney’s midweek Milestone.

Its the international break and I actually get a little bored of international qualifiers and Friendlies because to be fair it’s pretty much the same story every year in that England do enough,  Wales don’t and Scotland and Ireland seem like they are going to do enough but they don’t.   There hasn’t been much of a shift in this for quite some time but why? I’ll tell you why …selections!!!!

Now don’t get me wrong, I understand England has a massive amount of players at their disposal compared to the others  but in my opinion it’s still the wrong choice.   Gerard is knocking on but still sharp;  Lampard is okay for a penalty here and there but they are not sharp enough to compete with the youth of talent that say, Germany has, or Belgium.   I don’t know where this Belgian team has come from all of a sudden but fuck me, it’s tasty.  

Ross Barkley, the new Everton lad is absolute quality.  The guy is everywhere.  I saw him in Cardiff not too long ago and he was amazing. He should be a starter and as for Milner, just don’t get me started on him.  I think he’s a championship player at best.   It makes me angry how some players just have a place because of the ranking of their personal club number.  It’s awful.

Now Wales ( I think ) have the best team out of the other three.  Not because of Bale but because of the general spread of   quality. Ramsey, Williams, Bellamy and Bale are game changers  they can pop up and do some damage but for some reason they fire on 40% of their capabilities.  On Friday Bale didn’t even show his face and we all know the reason for that.   Chris Coleman was pushing Bale to leave for Madrid all through the window and why???… because the guy loves a tan.  Have you seen the colour on him? He’s thinking, I know I will push Bale to Madrid and then I will have to go see him a few times a year.  I will take the Mrs and fill my boots, rubbing shoulders with the Elite in Espanola.  It is so very obvious Chris!!  I think that was part of the reason Bale didn’t come on in that he was probably invited to a BBQ round Ronaldo’s house and couldn’t face turning up if Bale had an injury.  I bet Ronaldo would have given him a cheeky wink if he had mind.

I think Scotland are doing okay they keep playing Miller who, lets face it, has a worldly in him every now and then but ultimately was let go by Cardiff when they were in the championship …he wears his shorts a little to high for my liking too, like a young Dennis Irwin.

Ireland just need to get rid of Trap’s.   I’m sorry to say,  the guy still hasn’t grasped what required for a long time now and I think it’s his time to go.  The Irish are a very passionate lot and I think the banter would be spot on if they qualified into a Major again.

Now an update on the detox I’m doing, for those of you who can’t be bothered with insanity of dipping tissue in orange juice to fill you up instead of food, I’m doing a 9 day detox course, it involves minimal exercise and living on pills vitamins and Aloe Vera juice but it beats making a twat of yourself dancing round your living room every night for 60 days. The stuff is nasty and is pure evil but it seems to be doing the trick.  The purpose was to detox and shed a few pounds whilst doing it although the latter is not the purpose of the course as you know I’m already built like a Greek God, but it helps.  The tablets are going down easier and the Aloe Vera and still tastes like what I can image old man’s piss but after Day 4, I had lost 10lbs and feel a lot better for it.  I will say this, if you are considering having a go be prepared for the trauma of it all.  It is like rehab.  It is total denial and you need to call on your deepest resources of will power.  You cannot consume anything other than water for the first 2 days and so I found myself chewing space invaders until the taste of badgers went away and then spitting them out without swallowing.  I was even dreaming of eating things I don’t even particularly like!  Despite that, the results are massive and I will post my before and after pics and results in my next column as I will have finished by then.

As you know I like a little flutter here and there.   I did have a pop on the Internationals but Ireland let me down, so I decided to look at these horse tipsters online.  They are rubbish so don’t bother.  Choose your own and stick to them as it’s a bloody waste of time.

Footy wise this weekend here are my bets:


Acc/ £30

Man Utd , Spurs, Villa and Cardiff.

Get on that you’ll have a nice night out.

Spurs are going to be spewing about the Emirates.  Cardiff made a nice little deal on transfer day with Odemwingie.  I think both he and Campbell are going to be a bit tasty this year and the others are pretty self explanatory.

Off to Cheltenham this week…should be a good night out there, I’ve found in the past the girls can be a little snobby but that’s nothing a bottle of Italian cava won’t change, the place is crawling with ex uni birds who stuck around to get a job instead of going home and admitting failure.

Should be easy…………………”should be”


Take it easy

Follow me :




Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *