Trolling along

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Sadly trolling has become a part of everyday life for millennials. Whilst I was bullied terribly as a child I was fortunate to grow up in a time when the internet didn’t exist, where bullies ruled the playground and classrooms rather than cyber-space, and when I scurried home to my bedroom to cry into my pillow after school thankfully nothing and nobody could hurt me anymore. Fast forward a decade to 2018 and sadly the youth, and adults, of today are haunted, tortured and terrorised by online bullies or trolls as they’ve become known.

Sad, angry, miserable individuals make it their mission to taunt and put down others online to make themselves feel better as an outlet for their own negativity. Yet we still take for granted the ability to share our lives for the world to see; thinking that the pictures, videos and beautiful memories that we immortalise on our social media profiles will be liked, shared and received in the same loving and cheerful way that we upload them. Unfortunately everything is open to interpretation, criticism and resultantly, bullying. From posting a selfie to unveil an exciting new haircut to trying on a slim-fitting item of clothing for a special occasion – whilst we enthusiastically display the memories and moments we love most and feel best about others find any excuse to pick at and poke fun at it.

In truth, it takes a lot for a person to share a selfie online; to feel good enough about your appearance to pick up a camera, spend time and attention taking a photograph that feels comfortable, confident and socially acceptable in a society that is becoming evermore obsessed with appearances, reputation and fame. The sad reality is that those who try their best are often shot-down first by vile online bullies, having clothing mocked, beauty picked apart and confidence and self-esteem left shattered all because of cruel strangers who we might never meet face to face. Would they be as quick to criticise if they saw the true hurt and reality of their words? As vicious and heartless if they had to stand beside their victims whilst giving their response? Or as personal and judgemental if their families and friends knew what they were doing? I very much doubt it.

Whilst I’ve been in the public eye since the age of 18 I’ve learned how to develop a thick skin when it comes to trolls. I used to take every negative comment and insult to heart, seeing it as a personal attack for which I lost sleep about how others could be so vile towards me when they didn’t even know me. I tried my best to make them realise that I wasn’t the person they accused me of being, I wasn’t self-obsessed, I didn’t think I was beautiful and I didn’t ask to be famous. In actual fact it had taken me hours to decide which picture to post, which words to carefully write as a caption so as not to offend anyone and which platform to share it on. Just as everybody else posts about their life and learnings, I’m no different, I just have millions of followers for which the majority of them have never met me; unlike the friends and family that most people have on their profiles, keeping them safe from the grasp of cruel trolls.

It breaks my heart to read about the rise in teen suicides because of cyber bullying. To think of the  loss of life, broken families and tortured loved ones left behind, helpless to change the fate of these kind souls who deserved better, much better. And being in the public eye makes it so much worse, a million times at least which many will never understand because the volume, frequency and detail of such bullying is rarely seen in day-to-day life by the majority of the public. Hence why singers, actors and reality TV stars turn to drink, drugs and self harm, trapped in a silent world, their private lives non-existent, their every move constantly criticised, ridiculed and torn apart for all to see. Aired incorrectly purely for entertainment, the world believes all that it reads without questioning its authenticity because shocking stories and false accusations sell and everybody loves a good scandal – except for the innocent person that it’s written about who doesn’t deserve the backlash of trolls, can’t escape it and did nothing to deserve it.Adult Mags | Retro Mags | Paul Raymond | Private | Sex Shops

And so we need to be aware of this disgusting behaviour, whether it’s our friends and family, colleagues or ourselves making hurtful comments. The comments you leave online, opinions you post and words you use can deeply harm, emotionally scar and mortally damage an individual no matter how strong and unfazed that they seem. Whether it’s something mild or all-out horrendous you never know what will be the straw to break the camels back, you never know what has been said already that same day, that hour or even that minute to have already pushed a person to breaking point. If you have nothing nice to say then please say nothing at all, don’t be the reason that somebody else cries, falls into depression or takes their own life. And if you see online bullying and trolling don’t just scroll past it or allow it to happen, report the account and have it removed. We can all make a difference if we refuse to accept unkind behaviour.

I’m thankful that I live my life in exactly the way that I choose to, for what makes me happy and brings me good karma. I treat others how I’d like to be treated and swiftly move past those who are unkind or uneducated in how to treat others with manners and respect. I no longer try to explain myself, change opinions or live up to the standards of others because those who truly matter will love and cherish you for precisely the person you are. But I stand for those who have lost their voice, who are too tired, too weak and worn down to defend themselves because I will never allow bullies to succeed. I believe in building others up, being kind and positive and complimenting and motivating others to lead healthy happy lives because the energy and karma you put out into the world will be what you receive in return. So take responsibility for your actions, police the negativity you see online by reporting it and together we can save lives, build happier futures and stop these disgusting keyboard warriors before it turns into an epidemic; every life matters.

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