Help I wanna be blackmailed!

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Dear Miss Kaz,

My fetish is being blackmailed. Please allow me to explain…

This usually takes the form of sending photos of myself in my French maid outfit, together with various personal details. As you can imagine, this has got me into some situations!

I have been involved in many fetish activities, both online and real time for over twenty years. It is a problem for me because it keeps getting me in all sorts of trouble.

I’ve tried many times to give it up but seem unable to and I keep coming back to it.

Problems can be summed up as sleepless nights and wondering how far the domme will take things. Will she stick to the contract? Will she stop if I buy out?

One domme found out where I worked (information I had not volunteered) and started using that against me to get extra money. That stressed me out and made me more wary.

It has also caused me some money worries when I have had to buy large items off Amazon for people.

There’s also the worry in the back of my mind that someone who knows me, might come across one of the many photos of me dressed in a maid outfit that are floating about the internet. What do you think I should do?

Mark, 36, London

Dear Mark,

I see most fetishes as harmless fun, but if you are concerned that people you know might find out then you are playing with fire. I understand that the risk is part of the thrill, but you can’t have the rainbow without the rain. One day a dark storm cloud is going to float over your head and pour down a monsoon of trouble upon you, unless you are more cautious.

The fact that you mentioned a dominatrix went out of her way and found out personal details about you, concerns me a great deal. Whilst the BDSM and Fetish community is largely built on trust, unfortunately in life there will always be chancers and takers who will try to use your weakness against you and exploit you for more money.

You have two issues here, trust and being discovered.

With regards to the trust issues, you can never truly know someone. However, before giving away any personal details try to get to know your domme a little first. Find out about her character, read her reviews and see what others say about her. It’s not a fool proof system, but it is an extra layer of protection for you. Also, be sure to set a budget and emphasise the fact that you need to stick to it!

With regards to being discovered, it is highly possible that it will happen at some point, as photo’s can travel across the internet faster than you can dunk your biscuit in a cup of tea! Even if you were to remove all the photo’s you have posted and end the contracts you have with your Dommes, the photo’s will still be out there. The only way to stop it from biting you on the arse if you are discovered, it to put your hands up and laugh it off. If you are going to dress as a maid, do it with pride. Then no one really has any comeback from that!

So, you like wearing dresses, big deal! It’s not a crime, it’s simply harmless fun. Everyone has a skeleton in their closet, but some just keep their cards tighter to their chest!

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