I honestly had no idea that a little plastic bath duck with a hard on could bring so much joy and enthusiasm to my relationship, but it’s added so much lighthearted humour that has spilled into all aspects of our time together that has allowed happiness and acceptance to flourish.
Obviously when it came to my boyfriends birthday I had to find the most hilariously inappropriate gifts for him to unwrap, preferably in front of parents and/or judgemental relatives for sheer sadistic awkwardness and amusement – so a grinning classic yellow duck with a stonking hard-on hit the checkout before I’d even finished cackling!
My boyfriend named him Derek and very quickly decided that he would be a bit of a creep in duck terms. Ever since he’s had him he’s made it his absolute mission to insert Derek’s duckhood into any orifice that I’ve innocently left unguarded – pouncing for a nostril on the sofa, going for an ear in the kitchen and hiding him beneath the duvet at bedtime for an unsuspecting spoon which has had us in absolute fits of laughter as I defend myself against Derek!
My boyfriend cheerful muses “the more lighthearted you can make the bedroom environment the comfortable you will feel having sex. And the more comfortable you feel having sex the more wild and wonderful things you end up doing!”
He concludes that “Humour is the answer to so many problems, so why not bring it into the bedroom. Sex doesn’t have to be serious. It’s important to mix things up.” And I have to say that I wholeheartedly agree with him; whilst I’d never have thought that Derek would infiltrate my personal space whilst looking for a humourous gift, the sense of sheer freedom, acceptance and openness it creates as we fall into one another’s arms in fits of laughter certainly gets the adrenaline going and leads to such electricity between the sheets that would send energy suppliers and consumers alike cowering!
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