Your resident porn star is back with another column designed to help with all your relationship and sex-based issues! Got a problem? Write to me at [email protected] or find me on my social channels and I’ll use my 10 years’ experience in the adult industry to get to the bottom of it.
As we’re still on lockdown, I’ve included a photo of my tits this week! I hope it perks up all you naughty readers…
Need to dump her before Christmas!
Dear Lola,
I need to split up with my girlfriend before Christmas so I don’t have to buy her a present but I don’t want to seem like a total arsehole. Can you help? We’ve only been together a year and don’t live together. She has expensive taste and has already given me a huge list of designer gifts she’s expecting in her sack but, since I’ve been on furlough, my sack has been pretty empty! We’ve not been getting on and I want to break it off.
Anon, via Twitter.
Lola says: It seems like your mind is already made up, but she doesn’t seem to feel the same way if she’s expecting Santa to bring all those gifts down the chimney! I think honesty would be the best policy here. Let her know how your feeling and that you’d like to move on before things get too serious. If you want to buy anyone a present, my birthday is coming up in 2 weeks!!
Wife loves her vibrator more than me!
Dear Lola,
My wife loves getting off by herself, but has no time for me. Every week a parcel arrives with a new sex toy. While I’m working in my office downstairs, I can hear her trying them out in the bedroom but when I suggest we use them together or get intimate she finds an excuse. Does she love her toys more than me?
Dave, Scunthorpe
Lola says: It’s great to hear your wife exploring her body and sexuality. There are so many amazing toys on the market that can enhance your sex life and give your wife amazing orgasms but they can’t make up for the intimacy you feel with your lover. Perhaps she’s horny at different times of the day to you or you’ve been spending too much time in front of the computer? Take a day off even if you’re working from home, cook her a nice meal and dress to impress! I’m sure she’d appreciate your efforts and, if you ask her to grab her favourite toy and meet you in the bedroom, you might get lucky!
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