Dyslexic SPORT READER ends up in A&E with groin strain

A dyslexic SPORT READER from HULL has ended up in A&E after the UK went into LOCKDOWN after he mis-read the government advice to SELF-ISOLATE and has been self MASTURBATING for the past 14 days.

The reader who wanted to remain nameless has warned all other SPORT READERS not to mis-read the advice.

READER X speaking exclusively to the DAILY SPORT’s Jay Arthur said “I’ve been home the past fortnight W*NKING myself silly Morning, Noon and Night in the hope it would save me from CORONAVIRUS, only to find out they said ‘Self Isolate’.”  He added “Now I’m in hospital taking up a much needed NHS bed that someone with this BLOODY virus could be in.”

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Daily Sport says – If in doubt SPORT READERS always ask someone for assistance before going ahead with the latest government LOCKDOWN advice.

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