EXCLUSIVE:
A currently unnamed 78yo SEXCASE from Milton Keynes has been NICKED and is awaiting trail after POLICE found a set of False Teeth and a USED CONDOM in a local park.
Detective Inspector Dick Strange told Daily Sport “We had been altered to DOGGING taking place in a local park and 1 of my LADS found the teeth and used Jonny,”
FLASE TEETH PORN STASH
“Upon later investigation FORENSICS got DNA from BOTH which were a DATABASE match, but to their astonishment [Forensics] the TEETH came apart and they discovered a HIDDEN USB STICK in them containing over 1,000,000 KINKY PORN images and videos our biggest every PORN STASH.”
So OLD BILL needed both a computer technician and a dental technician on this one, just goes to show SMUGGLERS to WIERDOS will always find a way to hide their STASH.
TURKISH TECH
A DAILY SPORT investigation has found that these FALSE TEETH were probably made by a SCECRET LAB in the wilds of TURKEY a known hotspot for COSMETIC DENTISTRY.
A spokesperson from the prosecution who wanted to remain nameless told DAILY SPORT “It’s cases like these that make our JOB worth while, you know something you can really get your TEETH into, excuse the pun.”