Greetings and salutations my kinky friends.
This week I am going to talk about sex addiction, is it just an ‘illness’ for the rich and famous? Is it a real thing or just an excuse to have copious amounts of carnal pleasure? Celebrities are forever being checked into rehab centres to cure their apparent addiction to sex but often this goes hand in hand with either their spouse catching them playing away or a scandal hitting the media, so is it for real or just a PR stunt?
Well first let’s look at what sex addiction is … there is no definitive definition as to what sex addiction entails though it is considered prevalent when the individual acts out sexually in ways they feel they can not control causing detrimental problems in their relationships and wellbeing. The reason it is hard to diagnose is that what is normal behaviour to one person could be considered perverted by another. Where does a healthy active sex life stop and sex addiction begin? To my mind, sex addiction is not something that another person can determine about an individual, it has to be a realisation that the individual comes to themselves, it is only an addiction if it is something that can not be controlled.
Enjoying a healthy, active and consensual sex life is unlikely to caused anyone any harm, however, if that need to be stimulated becomes an obsession, when it is the only thing you can think about, when you no longer have a social life that doesnt revolve around sexual conquests…that is when a problem may be occuring.
If a man or woman wants to have multiple partners, kinky sex etc then that does not make them a sex addict or a pervert. Checking in to a sex clinic because they’ve been caught with their trousers down or are embroiled in a lawsuit is more perverted in my mind.
What do you think? Is sex addition a true illness? Or is it just like the shoppers guilt making an individual convinced they have an addiction to shopping? Could it just be shaggers guilt? Or a way out of a sticky situation? I once knew an individual who, once caught by his wife playing away, claimed to have a sex addiction and even went as far as to go to therapy for it. He continued to shag anything that walked and the wife continued to turn a blind eye as he was “ill”. If I recall correctly this went on for a good few years before the wife finally broke and saw him for the cheat he really was. This is just one incident of course, I am not suggesting that everyone who is treated for sexual addiction is a fake but it does give a certain (low) class of people a get out of jail free card.
What do you think?
Surgery is open …
Dear Dr Decadence
I am a submissive male and I wear a chastity device to remind myself that women are superior and also so that I am not tempted to masturbate unless instructed to. The problem is that I am currently without a Mistress and not sure how I can continue the experience without one.
Do you have any suggestions?
Mr B
Hi Mr B
You have a few options. You could look for an online keyholder who will set times and tasks etc though they will charge you. This is a great way to continue in chastity without a full-time Mistress as you will still receive some of the benefits of having a Domme. Alternatively, you could freeze the keys in a large bottle of water so that you can still get to it (eventually) for hygiene purposes but if you decided to break your chastity you would have to wait a considerable amount of time to do so. You can also purchase timed locks so you can set the length of time you are caged for, you can’t change it once it is set though. There are many options so do some research and see what is the best option for you. If you want to go down the keyholder route then there are a few I could recommend.
The Dr.
Dear Dr D
I am a switch so I have both a Master and submissives of my own. I was recently at an event with my Master and he completely ignored me because his new submissive was there too. I was quite upset but decided to play with my submissives instead. My Master was not happy and has made me get rid of my submissives saying He wants me all to himself while he has other submissives. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Miss K
Hi Miss K
I am sorry to hear this, it doesn’t sound like your Master is considering your needs as well as his own. Not knowing the ins and outs of your dynamic it is hard to advise but I would suggest asking to come out of the dynamic to have a conversation and explain to him how you are feeling. If you are a switch then I assume you enjoy doing both sides of the dynamic and this is something that I would hope your Master would understand and take into consideration. It is always important to be open and honest in every dynamic but especially a D/s relationship. Good luck and I hope you can both continue in a contented manner.
Let us know how it goes.
The Dr
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