In a year that has been to quote her MAJESTY annus horribilis or ‘A pain in the arse’ as they say in polite circles, things have just got a whole lot worse for Daily Sport reader Jez from East Sussex after he found out his prized BLOW UP DOLL Jenny was expecting after 12 weeks of LOCKDOWN together.
Even world experts in BLOW UP DOLLS and specialist PVC scientists have been left baffled by the SHOCKING announcement made late last night.
LONER bedsit dweller Jez 55 speaking exclusively to Daily Sport Sunday said “This came as a told shock after Doctors told me I could never have kids 4 years ago and missus left me,”
“Now I’m stuck in a GROTTY little BEDSIT and am not F**KING allowed visitors never mind a FAMILY to share with me.”
Makers of the doll Blow Yue Tu Plastics Factory in Nanjing, China have issued the following statement denying all liability “We have supplied quality fun dolls around the globe since 1978 and cannot be held responsible for the outcome of unusual acts performed by WESTERN PERVERTS on our products.”
One UK stockist has now embarked on a PRODUCT RECALL of such dolls in a bid to stop this happening to anyone else.
Our advice Sport Readers is always wear PROTECTION unless you fancy a TRIBE of little plastic KIDS running round the place.