DAILY SPORT SUNDAY EXCLUSIVE
With people being fined ‘WILLY NILLY’ for breaking Lockdown, yet it is OK for the arch architect of lockdown Professor Neil Ferguson aka PROFESSOR PANTS DOWN to break lockdown on more than one occasion to get a BIT OF THE OTHER with a married woman, your Daily Sport have learned of GRANNY of 12 DORIS from Salford who was fined for breaking lockdown whilst going to buy essentials.
60yo Doris told DAILY SPORT “There I was on the bus with my 12” RUBBER COCK, when OLD BILL boarded and NICKED me for breaking LOCKDOWN.”
What is an OLD GIRL supposed to do to amuse herself whilst under HOUSE ARREST we ask Sport Readers?
Doris added “Normally I’d be down the BINGO looking for young guys but this bloody virus has f**ked that.”
Daily Sport says – At this time spare a thought for the elderly in our community who have been marginalized and isolated from the outside world.