Sposnored by Retro Mags
Dear Kaz,
I wonder if you can offer me some advice. I think I’m going off my partner
We haven’t slept together in six months and at first I missed it, but now I’m just starting to feel irritated by him all the time. If he’s not on his phone working, he’s commenting on Love Island or engaging in a pointless liking spree on Facebook!
Sometimes, we’ll plan to watch a film and then I’m forced to sit there and wait whilst he likes pictures of other woman and dogs falling over. If I pick up my phone though, he gets annoyed and shouts at me.
I’m finding his behaviour completely unbearable. He whines like a baby if he doesn’t get his own way and puts on a little child’s voice. He’ll flop his hand onto my lap and say “Wub me now!”
Also, he sulks, needs constant attention and throws tantrums if he doesn’t get it. To be honest, he doesn’t turn me on anymore because of the way he acts all the time.
Believe it or not he is 41 and I’m 34, but sometimes I feel like he has the mental age of a 12-year-old.
Should I throw his clothes on the lawn and change the locks or should I try to speak to him first? I feel as if I’m at the end of my tether!
Carla, 34, Ascot
Dear Carla,
Males do mature less quickly than females, but at the age of 41 he should have mastered the art of communicating with the opposite sex, without reverting to infantilism, sulking or throwing tantrums.
Your boyfriend sounds like a control freak and is trying to emotionally manipulate you, and not in a very intelligent way by the sounds of it! These types of behaviour are all big, red, flashing flags. Be wary!
His close relationship with his phone sounds like a form of triangulation to me. I have a hunch that he is using the phone as a substitute for a third party, and him giving it priority over you, is his way of trying to get a reaction. In other words, it is a very toxic and unhealthy cry for attention.
Do you love this guy enough to try work through the problems and do you think he is capable of change? These are the questions you need to think long and hard about.
Life is tough enough in modern times without having to put up with ‘Mantrums!’ The behaviour has to stop one way or another.
If you decide that you do, then you need to communicate your feelings to him. If he isn’t able or willing to change then remember – it is better to be alone, than in bad company.
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