A PUB customer in the North of England who had a DRUG FUELLED masturbation session in PACKED BEER GARDEN has bizarrely been ARRESTED for not observing SOCIAL DISTANCING laws.
The unnamed 50yo who was observed by bemused onlookers doing line after line of COKE whilst JERKING OFF, was taken into custody for BREACHING the 1m or more social distancing laws imposed by government.
Publican Gerry O’Sullivan said “They guy is a complete W**KER and was already BARRED after a previous session last SUMMER.”
Police wouldn’t comment other than to say that a man had been arrested in breach of the SOCIAL DISTACING rules.
One customer who spoke to Daily Sport said “I don’t know what all the fuss is about they have SMOKING SHELTERS why not WANKING PITS?”
OK Sport Readers if you are that way inclined and are PLANNING a good old fashioned WANKING session down your local next weekend, make sure you are at least 1m apart from other PUNTERS to avoid getting NICKED.
